Two old men were sitting on a park

Two old men were sitting on a park bench in Florida. One of them, Bullard, spent every
day in the park with his Labrador dog, boring everyone he came across. The other man
tried to escape Bullard and his dog, who kept trying to chew the garters1
from his socks.
The stranger went to another bench but Bullard followed him. Bullard asked the
stranger about his line of business.
‘My line?’ said the stranger crisply, laying down his book. ‘Sorry – I’ve never had a
line. I’ve been a drifter since the age of nine, since Edison set up his laboratory next to
my home and showed me the intelligence analyser.’
‘Edison?’ said Bullard. ‘Thomas Edison, the inventor?’
‘If you want to call him that, go ahead’ said the stranger.
‘If I want to call him that?’ –Bullard guffawed –‘I guess I just will. Father of the
light bulb and I don’t know what all.’
‘If you think he invented the light bulb, go ahead. No harm in it.’ The stranger
resumed his reading.
‘Say, what is this?’ said Bullard, suspiciously. ‘You’re pulling my leg? What’s this
about an intelligence analyser? I’ve never heard of that.’
‘Of course you haven’t,’ said the stranger. ‘Mr Edison and I promised to keep it a
secret’ …
Bullard was entranced. ‘Uh, this intelligence analyser,’ he said. ‘It analysed
intelligence, did it?’ …
‘It was back in the fall of eighteen seventy-nine,’ said the stranger at last, softly.
‘Back in the village of Menlo Park, New Jersey. I was a boy of nine. A young man we all
thought was a wizard had set up a laboratory next door to my home …
I didn’t get to know Edison right off, but his dog Sparky and I got to be steady pals.
A dog a whole lot like yours, Sparky was … Well, one day, Sparky and I were wrestling
around and we wrestled right up to the door of the laboratory. The next thing I knew,
Sparky had pushed me in through the door and Bam! I was sitting on the laboratory
floor, looking up at Mr Edison himself.’
‘Bet he was sore,’ said Bullard, delighted.
‘You can bet I was scared,’ said the stranger. ‘I thought I was face to face with Satan
himself. Edison had wires hooked to his ears running down to a little black box in his
lap! I started to scoot but he caught me by the collar and made me sit down.’
‘ “For over a year, my boy,” Edison said to me, “I’ve been trying to find a filament
that will last in an incandescent lamp … So while I was trying to think of something … I
put this together,” he said, showing me the little black box. “I thought maybe intelligence
was just a certain kind of electricity, so I made this intelligence analyser here. It works!
You’re the first one to know about it, my boy” … And it did work … I let him try it on me
and the needle just lay where it was and trembled. But dumb as I was, then is when I
made my one and only contribution in the world …’
‘Whadja do?’ said Bullard eagerly.
‘I said, “Mr Edison, sir, let’s try it on the dog”. … And would you believe it, that
needle sailed clear across the dial, way past a little red pencil mark on the dial face!’
‘ “Mr Edison, sir,” I said. “What’s that red mark mean?”
“My boy,” said Edison, “it means the instrument is broken, because the red mark is
me.” ’

Результаты (русский) 1:

Двое старых сидели на скамейке в парке во Флориде. Один из них, Буллард, провел каждый день в парке с его собака Лабрадор, скучно, все, кого он наткнулся. Другой человек пытался бежать Буллард и его собака, который постоянно пытается жевать garters1от его носки. Незнакомец отправился в другую скамейку, но Буллард последовал за ним. Баллард спросил Незнакомец о своей линии бизнеса.«Моя линия?» сказал незнакомец сухо, устанавливающий его книги. ' Извините-я никогда не линия. Я был дрифтер с лет девяти, поскольку Эдисон создал свою лабораторию рядом с Мой дом и показал мне интеллект анализатор.'«Эдисон?» сказал Буллард. «Изобретатель Томас Эдисон?»«Если вы хотите, чтобы называть его что, идти вперед»,-сказал незнакомец.' Если я хочу называть его что?' – Буллард хохотнул –' я думаю, я просто будет. Отец лампочки и я не знаю, что все.'' Если вы думаете, он изобрел лампочку, идти вперед. Никакого вреда в нем. " Незнакомец возобновил его чтение.«Говорить о том, что это?» сказал Буллард, подозрительно. ' Вы потянув мою ногу? Что это о анализатор разведки? Я никогда не слышал об этом. "«Конечно нет,» сказал незнакомец. ' Мистер Эдисон и я обещал держать его Секрет '...Баллард был в восторге. ' Ну, этот интеллект анализатор,' сказал он. ' Он проанализировал интеллект, это сделал?'...«В падении eighteen seventy-nine,» сказал незнакомец на последнем, мягко. ‘Back in the village of Menlo Park, New Jersey. I was a boy of nine. A young man we all thought was a wizard had set up a laboratory next door to my home …I didn’t get to know Edison right off, but his dog Sparky and I got to be steady pals. A dog a whole lot like yours, Sparky was … Well, one day, Sparky and I were wrestling around and we wrestled right up to the door of the laboratory. The next thing I knew, Sparky had pushed me in through the door and Bam! I was sitting on the laboratory floor, looking up at Mr Edison himself.’‘Bet he was sore,’ said Bullard, delighted.‘You can bet I was scared,’ said the stranger. ‘I thought I was face to face with Satan himself. Edison had wires hooked to his ears running down to a little black box in his lap! I started to scoot but he caught me by the collar and made me sit down.’‘ “For over a year, my boy,” Edison said to me, “I’ve been trying to find a filament that will last in an incandescent lamp … So while I was trying to think of something … I put this together,” he said, showing me the little black box. “I thought maybe intelligence was just a certain kind of electricity, so I made this intelligence analyser here. It works! You’re the first one to know about it, my boy” … And it did work … I let him try it on me and the needle just lay where it was and trembled. But dumb as I was, then is when I made my one and only contribution in the world …’‘Whadja do?’ said Bullard eagerly.‘I said, “Mr Edison, sir, let’s try it on the dog”. … And would you believe it, that needle sailed clear across the dial, way past a little red pencil mark on the dial face!’‘ “Mr Edison, sir,” I said. “What’s that red mark mean?”“My boy,” said Edison, “it means the instrument is broken, because the red mark is me.” ’