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Thomas Edison's Shaggy Dog
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Two old men were sitting on a park bench in Florida. One of them, Bullard, spent every day in the park with his Labrador dog, boring everyone he came across. The other man tried to escape Bullard and his dog, who kept trying to chew the garters from his socks.
The stranger went to another bench but Bullard followed him. Bullard asked the stranger about his line of business.
‘My line?’ said the stranger crisply, laying down his book. ‘Sorry – I've never had a line. I've been a drifter since the age of nine, since Edison set up his laboratory next to my home and showed me the intelligence analyser.’
‘Edison?’ said Bullard. ‘Thomas Edison, the inventor?’
‘If you want to call him that, go ahead’ said the stranger.
‘If I want to call him that?’ –Bullard guffawed –‘I guess I just will. Father of the
light bulb and I don't know what all.’
‘If you think he invented the light bulb, go ahead. No harm in it.’ The stranger resumed his reading.
‘Say, what is this?’ said Bullard, suspiciously. ‘You're pulling my leg? What's this about an intelligence analyser? I've never heard of that.’
‘Of course you haven't,’ said the stranger. ‘Mr Edison and I promised to keep it a secret’ …
Bullard was entranced. ‘Uh, this intelligence analyser,’ he said. ‘It analysed intelligence, did it?’ …
‘It was back in the fall of eighteen seventy-nine,’ said the stranger at last, softly. ‘Back in the village of Menlo Park, New Jersey. I was a boy of nine. A young man we all thought was a wizard had set up a laboratory next door to my home …
I didn't get to know Edison right off, but his dog Sparky and I got to be steady pals. A dog a whole lot like yours, Sparky was … Well, one day, Sparky and I were wrestling around and we wrestled right up to the door of the laboratory. The next thing I knew, Sparky had pushed me in through the door and Bam! I was sitting on the laboratory floor, looking up at Mr Edison himself.’
‘Bet he was sore,’ said Bullard, delighted.
‘You can bet I was scared,’ said the stranger. ‘I thought I was face to face with Satan himself. Edison had wires hooked to his ears running down to a little black box in his lap! I started to scoot but he caught me by the collar and made me sit down.’‘ “For over a year, my boy,” Edison said to me, “I've been trying to find a filament that will last in an incandescent lamp … So while I was trying to think of something … I put this together,” he said, showing me the little black box. “I thought maybe intelligence was just a certain kind of electricity, so I made this intelligence analyser here. It works! You're the first one to know about it, my boy” … And it did work … I let him try it on me and the needle just lay where it was and trembled. But dumb as I was, then is when I made my one and only contribution in the world …’
‘Whadja do?’ said Bullard eagerly.
‘I said, “Mr Edison, sir, let's try it on the dog”. … And would you believe it, that needle sailed clear across the dial, way past a little red pencil mark on the dial face!’
‘ “Mr Edison, sir,” I said. “What's that red mark mean?”
“My boy,” said Edison, “it means the instrument is broken, because the red mark is me.” ’
‘I'll say it was broken,’ said Bullard.
The stranger replied gravely, ‘But it wasn't broken. No sir. Edison checked the whole thing … When Edison told me that, it was then that Sparky, crazy to get out, gave himself away … We really had him locked in, see? There were three locks on the door …
That dog stood up … and had the knob in his teeth when Edison stopped him

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Томас Эдисон удостоенный награды музыкант собака
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два старых мужчин сидели в парке в штате Флорида. Один из них, Буллард, отработанные каждый день в парке с его Лабрадор собака, скучно каждый он увидел. Другой мужчина попытался избежать Буллард и его собаку, который постоянно пытается чью то garters из его носки.
пришельца отправился на другой многоместного но Буллард.