THE LUNCHEON W.Somerset Maugham I c

THE LUNCHEON

W.Somerset Maugham

I caught sight of her at the play, and in answer to her beckoning I went over during the interval and sat down beside her. It was long since I had last seen her, and if someone had not mentioned her name I hardly think I would have recognised her. She addressed me brightly.
"Well, it's many years since we first met. How time does fly! We haven't got any younger. Do you remember the first time I saw you? You invited me to luncheon."
Did I remember?
It was twenty years ago and I was living in Paris. I had a small apartment in the Latin Quarter overlooking a cemetery, and I was earning barely enough money to keep body and soul together. She had read a book of mine and had written to me about it. I answered, thanking her, and presently I received from her another letter saying that she was passing through Paris and would like to have a chat with me; but her time was limited, and the only free moment she had was on the following Thursday; she was spending the morning at the Luxembourg and would I give her a little luncheon at Foyot's afterwards? Foyot's is a restaurant at which the French senators eat, and it was so far beyond my means that I had never even thought of going there. But I was flattered, and I was too young to have learned to say no to a woman. (Few men, I may add, learn this until they are too old to make it of any consequence to a woman what they say.) I had eight francs (gold francs) to last me the rest of the month, and a modest luncheon should not cost more than fifteen. If I cut out coffee for the next two weeks I could manage well enough.
I answered that I would meet my friend -- by correspondence -- at Foyot's on Thursday at half past twelve. She was not so young as I expected and in appearance imposing rather than attractive, she was, in fact, a woman of forty (a charming age, but not one that excites a sudden and devastating passion at first sight), and she gave me the impression of having more teeth, white and large and even, than were necessary for any practical purpose. She was talkative, but since she seemed inclined to talk about me I was prepared to be an attentive listener.
I was startled when the bill of fare was brought, for the prices were a great deal higher than I had anticipated. But she reassured me.
"I never eat anything for luncheon," She said.
"Oh, don't say that!" I answered generously.
"I never eat more than one thing. I think people eat far too much nowadays. A little fish, perhaps. I wonder if they have any salmon.
Well, it was early in the year for salmon and it was not on the bill of fare, but I asked the waiter if there was any. Yes, a beautiful salmon had just come in, it was the first they had had. I ordered it for my guest. The waiter asked her if she would have something while it was being cooked.
"No," she answered, "I never eat more than one thing. Unless you have a little caviare. I never mind caviare."
My heart sank a little. I knew I could not afford caviare, but I could not very well tell her that. I told the waiter by all means to bring caviare. For myself I chose the cheapest dish on the menu and that was a mutton chop.
" I think you are unwise to eat meat," she said. " I don't know how you can expect to work after eating heavy things like chops. I don't believe in overloading my stomach."
Then came the question of drink.
"I never drink anything for luncheon," she said.
"Neither do I," I answered promptly.
"Except whiter wine," she proceeded as though I had not spoken. "These French white wines are so light. They're wonderful for the digestion."
"What would you like?" I asked, hospitable still, but not exactly effusive.
She gave me a bright and amicable flash of her white teeth.
"My doctor won't let me drink anything but champagne."
I fancy I turned a trifle pale. I ordered half a bottle. I mentioned casually that my doctor had absolutely forbidden me to drink champagne.
"What are you going to drink, then?"
"Water."
She ate the caviare and she ate the salmon. She talked gaily of art and literature and music. But I wondered what the bill would come to. When my mutton chop arrived she took me quite seriously to task.
"I see that you're in the habit of eating a heavy luncheon. I'm sure it's a mistake. Why don't you follow my example and just eat one thing? I'm sure you'd feel ever so much better for it."
"I am only going to eat one thing." I said, as the waiter came again with the bill of fare.
She waved him aside with an airy gesture.
"No, no, I never eat anything for luncheon. Just a bite, I never want more than that, and I eat that more as an excuse for conversation than anything else. I couldn't possibly eat anything more unless they had some of those giant asparagus. I should be sorry to leave Paris without having some of them."
My heart sank. I had seen them in the shops, and I knew that they were horribly expensive. My mouth had often watered at the sight of them.
"Madame wants to know if you have any of those giant asparagus," I asked the waiter.
I tried with all my might too will him to say no. A happy smile spread over his broad, pries-like face, and he assured me that they had some so large, so splendid, so tender, that it was a marvel.
"I'm not in the least hungry," my guest sighed, "but if you insist I don't mind having some asparagus."
I ordered them.
"Aren't you going to have any?"
"No, I never eat asparagus."
"I know there are people who don't like them. The fact is, you ruin your taste by all the meat you eat."
We waited for the asparagus to be cooked. Panic seized me. It was not a question now how much money I should have left over for the rest of the month, but whether I had enough to pay the bill. It would be embarrassing to find myself ten francs short and be obliged to borrow from my guest. I could not bring myself to do that. I knew exactly how much I had, and if the bill came to more I made up my mind that I would put my hand in my pocket and with a dramatic cry start up and say it had been picked. Of course, it would be awkward if she had not money enough either to pay the bill. Then the only thing would be to leave my watch and say I would come back and pay later.
The asparagus appeared. They were enormous, juicy, and appetising. I watched the wicked woman thrust them down her throat in large mouthfuls, and in my polite way I spoke about the condition of the drama in the Balkans. At last the finished.
"Coffee?" I said.
"Yes, just an ice-cream and coffee," she answered.
I was past caring now, so I ordered coffee for myself and an ice-cream and coffee for her.
"You know, there's one thing I thoroughly believe in," she said, as she ate the ice-cream. "One should always get up from a meal feeling one could eat a little more."
"Are you still hungry?" I asked faintly.
"Oh, no, I'm not hungry; you see, I don't eat luncheon. I have a cup of coffee in the morning and then dinner, but I never eat more than one thing for luncheon. I was speaking for you."
"Oh, I see!"
Then a terrible thing happened. While we were waiting for the coffee the head waiter, with an ingratiating smile on his false face, came up to us bearing a large basket full of huge peaches. They had the blush of an innocent girl; they had the rich tone of an Italian landscape. But surely peaches were not in season then? Lord knew what they cost. I knew too -- a little later, for my guest, going on with her conversation, absentmindedly took one.
"You see, you've filled your stomach with a lot of meat" -- my one miserable little chop -- "and you can't eat any more. But I've just had a snack and I shall enjoy a peach."
The bill came, and when I paid it I found that I had only enough for a quite inadequate tip. Her eyes rested for an instant on the three francs I left for the waiter, and I knew that she thought me mean. But when I walked out of the restaurant I had the whole month before me and not a penny in my pocket.
"Follow my example," she said as we shook hands, "and never eat more than one thing for luncheon."
"I'll do better than that," I retorted. "I'll eat nothing for dinner tonight."
"Humorist!" she cried gaily, jumping into a cab. "You're quite a humorist!"
But I have had my revenge at last. I do not believe that I am a vindictive man, but when the immortal gods take a hand in matter it is pardonable to observe the result with complacency. Today she weighs twenty-one stone.

Результаты (русский) 1:

ОБЕД W.Somerset Моэма Я поймал ее из виду в игре, и в ответ на ее манящий я подошел во время интервала и сел рядом с ней. Это было большим, поскольку я последний видел ее, и если кто-то не упоминал ее имя едва думаю я бы признали ее. Она затронула меня ярко. «Ну, это много лет так как мы впервые встретились. Как время летать! Мы не получили моложе. Вы помните первый раз, я видел вас? Вы пригласили меня на обед.» Я помню? Это было двадцать лет назад, и я живу в Париже. У меня была небольшая квартира в Латинском квартале с видом на кладбище, и я зарабатывают едва ли достаточно денег, чтобы держать тело и душу вместе. Она прочитал книгу шахты и направил мне об этом. Я ответил, поблагодарив ее, и в настоящее время я получил от ее еще одно письмо, сказав, что она проходила через Париж и хотел бы поговорить со мной; но ее время было ограничено, и только свободный момент, она была на следующий четверг; Она тратит утром в Люксембурге и бы я дать ей маленький обед на Foyot потом? Foyot's находится ресторан, в котором есть Французские сенаторы, и это было так далеко за пределами моих возможностей, что я никогда даже не думал идти туда. Но я был польщен, и я был слишком молод, чтобы узнали сказать "нет" к женщине. (Несколько человек может добавить, узнать это, пока они не слишком стар, чтобы сделать его каких-либо последствий к женщине, что они говорят.) Я имел восемь франков (золотых франков) к последнему меня до конца месяца, и скромный обед не должно стоить больше, чем пятнадцать. Если вырезать кофе в течение следующих двух недель может управлять достаточно хорошо. Я ответил, что я бы встретиться с моим другом - по заочной форме - на Foyot в четверг в половине. Она была не так молод, как я ожидал, и по внешнему виду, внушительной, а не привлекательной, она была, по сути, женщина сорока (очаровательный возраст, но не тот, который вызывает внезапное и разрушительные страсти на первый взгляд), и она дала мне впечатление наличия более зубов, белые и большие и даже, чем необходимо для любых практических целей. Она была разговорчив, но поскольку она, как представляется, склонны говорить обо мне, я был готов быть внимательного слушателя. Я был поражен, когда был доставлен счет платы за проезд, поскольку цены были очень много выше, чем я ожидал. Но она заверила меня. «Я никогда не едят что-нибыдь для обеда»,-сказала она. «Ох, не говорю, что!» Я ответил щедро. «Я никогда не едят больше, чем одна вещь. Я думаю, люди едят далеко слишком много сегодня. Возможно, немного рыбы. Интересно, если они имеют каких-либо лосося. Ну это было в начале года для лосося и не на счет платы за проезд, но я спросил официанта, если существует какой-либо. Да, красивая лосось только что пришел, это было первое, что они имели. Я заказал это для моего гостя. Официант спросил ее, если она будет иметь что-то в то время как она сварила. «Нет,» она ответила, «я никогда не едят больше, чем одна вещь. Если у вас немного икры. Я никогда не возражаю икры.» Мое сердце затонул немного. Я знал, я не мог позволить себе икры, но я не мог очень хорошо сказать ей, что. Я сказал официанту всеми средствами для того, чтобы принести икры. Для себя я выбрал дешевый блюдо в меню, и это было Баранья отбивная. " I think you are unwise to eat meat," she said. " I don't know how you can expect to work after eating heavy things like chops. I don't believe in overloading my stomach." Then came the question of drink. "I never drink anything for luncheon," she said. "Neither do I," I answered promptly. "Except whiter wine," she proceeded as though I had not spoken. "These French white wines are so light. They're wonderful for the digestion." "What would you like?" I asked, hospitable still, but not exactly effusive. She gave me a bright and amicable flash of her white teeth. "My doctor won't let me drink anything but champagne." I fancy I turned a trifle pale. I ordered half a bottle. I mentioned casually that my doctor had absolutely forbidden me to drink champagne. "What are you going to drink, then?" "Water." She ate the caviare and she ate the salmon. She talked gaily of art and literature and music. But I wondered what the bill would come to. When my mutton chop arrived she took me quite seriously to task. "I see that you're in the habit of eating a heavy luncheon. I'm sure it's a mistake. Why don't you follow my example and just eat one thing? I'm sure you'd feel ever so much better for it." "I am only going to eat one thing." I said, as the waiter came again with the bill of fare. She waved him aside with an airy gesture. "No, no, I never eat anything for luncheon. Just a bite, I never want more than that, and I eat that more as an excuse for conversation than anything else. I couldn't possibly eat anything more unless they had some of those giant asparagus. I should be sorry to leave Paris without having some of them." My heart sank. I had seen them in the shops, and I knew that they were horribly expensive. My mouth had often watered at the sight of them. "Madame wants to know if you have any of those giant asparagus," I asked the waiter. I tried with all my might too will him to say no. A happy smile spread over his broad, pries-like face, and he assured me that they had some so large, so splendid, so tender, that it was a marvel. "I'm not in the least hungry," my guest sighed, "but if you insist I don't mind having some asparagus." I ordered them. "Aren't you going to have any?" "No, I never eat asparagus." "I know there are people who don't like them. The fact is, you ruin your taste by all the meat you eat." We waited for the asparagus to be cooked. Panic seized me. It was not a question now how much money I should have left over for the rest of the month, but whether I had enough to pay the bill. It would be embarrassing to find myself ten francs short and be obliged to borrow from my guest. I could not bring myself to do that. I knew exactly how much I had, and if the bill came to more I made up my mind that I would put my hand in my pocket and with a dramatic cry start up and say it had been picked. Of course, it would be awkward if she had not money enough either to pay the bill. Then the only thing would be to leave my watch and say I would come back and pay later. The asparagus appeared. They were enormous, juicy, and appetising. I watched the wicked woman thrust them down her throat in large mouthfuls, and in my polite way I spoke about the condition of the drama in the Balkans. At last the finished. "Coffee?" I said. "Yes, just an ice-cream and coffee," she answered. I was past caring now, so I ordered coffee for myself and an ice-cream and coffee for her. "You know, there's one thing I thoroughly believe in," she said, as she ate the ice-cream. "One should always get up from a meal feeling one could eat a little more." "Are you still hungry?" I asked faintly. "Oh, no, I'm not hungry; you see, I don't eat luncheon. I have a cup of coffee in the morning and then dinner, but I never eat more than one thing for luncheon. I was speaking for you." "Oh, I see!"
Then a terrible thing happened. While we were waiting for the coffee the head waiter, with an ingratiating smile on his false face, came up to us bearing a large basket full of huge peaches. They had the blush of an innocent girl; they had the rich tone of an Italian landscape. But surely peaches were not in season then? Lord knew what they cost. I knew too -- a little later, for my guest, going on with her conversation, absentmindedly took one.
"You see, you've filled your stomach with a lot of meat" -- my one miserable little chop -- "and you can't eat any more. But I've just had a snack and I shall enjoy a peach."
The bill came, and when I paid it I found that I had only enough for a quite inadequate tip. Her eyes rested for an instant on the three francs I left for the waiter, and I knew that she thought me mean. But when I walked out of the restaurant I had the whole month before me and not a penny in my pocket.
"Follow my example," she said as we shook hands, "and never eat more than one thing for luncheon."
"I'll do better than that," I retorted. "I'll eat nothing for dinner tonight."
"Humorist!" she cried gaily, jumping into a cab. "You're quite a humorist!"
But I have had my revenge at last. I do not believe that I am a vindictive man, but when the immortal gods take a hand in matter it is pardonable to observe the result with complacency. Today she weighs twenty-one stone.

Результаты (русский) 3:

завтракмоэм, уильям сомерсетя увидел ее на игру, и в ответ на ее манит я поехал в антракте и сел рядом с ней.это было давно, я видел ее в последний раз, и если кто - то не упомянули ее имя вряд ли бы я узнал ее.она рассказала мне, ярко."ну, это много лет с тех пор, как мы впервые встретились.как время летит!мы не какие - нибудь моложе.помнишь первый раз, когда я видел, как ты?ты пригласил меня на обед ".я помню?это было двадцать лет назад, и я жил в париже.у меня был небольшой квартиры в латинском квартале с видом на кладбище, и я получал едва достаточно денег, чтобы сохранить тело и душу.она читала книгу по разминированию и написал мне об этом.я ответил, и поблагодарить ее, и в настоящее время я получил от нее еще одно письмо, в котором говорится, что она идет через париж и хотел бы поговорить со мной, но его время ограничено, и только в свободное время, она была на следующий четверг; она проводила утром в люксембург и я дам ей маленький обед на foyot - после этого?foyot - ресторан, в котором французских сенаторов есть, и это было так далеко от моего означает, что я никогда не думал, что буду там.но я был польщен, и я был слишком молод, чтобы научились говорить нет женщины.(несколько мужчин, могу добавить, что узнать об этом до тех пор, пока они не слишком стар, чтобы любой следствием женщине, что они говорят.) мне было восемь франков (золотых франков) вчера меня до конца месяца, и скромный завтрак не должно стоить больше, чем пятнадцать.если я вырезал кофе на ближайшие две недели, я смогу достаточно хорошо.я ответил, что будет мой друг - заочно - на foyot уже в четверг в половине первого.она не была такой молодой, как я ожидал и на вид применения, а не привлекательна, она была, по сути, женщина сорок (очаровательный возраст, но не одна, что волнует резкое и разрушительные страсти на первый взгляд), и она дала мне впечатление более зубы, белый и больших и даже, чем необходимы для практических целей.она была разговорчивой, но, поскольку она, как представляется, склонны говорить обо мне, я готов быть внимательным слушателем.я был поражен, когда этот тариф был доставлен на цены были очень много выше, чем я ожидал.но она заверила меня."я никогда не ел на завтрак", - сказала она."о, нет!"я ответила на щедрые взносы."я никогда не едят больше, чем одно.я думаю, люди едят слишком много сегодня.маленькая рыбка, возможно.интересно, у них есть какие - либо лосося.ну, это было в начале года лосося и не о законопроекте блюд, но я попросил официанта, если есть.да, прекрасный лосось не пришли, это был первый они имели.я заказал для своего гостя.официант спросил ее, если бы она что - то время готовила."нет", - ответила она, - я никогда не едят больше, чем одно.если у вас есть немного икру.я не против, икру ".мое сердце погрузился немного.я знал, что я не мог позволить себе икру, но я не очень хорошо говорю ей, что.я сказал официант всеми средствами для того, чтобы икру.для себя я выбрал самое дешевое блюдо в меню, и это баранина чоп."я думаю, что вы неразумно есть мясо", - сказала она.я не знаю, как вы можете ожидать, что к работе после еды тяжелые вещи, как отбивная.я не верю в перегружать желудок. "потом пришел вопрос напиток."я никогда не пить на завтрак", - сказала она."я тоже", - ответил я быстро."за исключением белее, вино," она перешла в том, что я не говорил ".эти французские белые вина настолько легкие.они замечательно для переваривания. ""что бы вы хотели?"я спросил, гостеприимные, но точно не эмоциональные.она дала мне яркий и дружественного флэш - ее белые зубы."мой врач не позволит мне пить ничего, кроме шампанского".мне кажется, я стал чуть - чуть бледно.я заказал полбутылки.я упоминал вскользь, что врач был категорически запретил мне пить шампанское."то, что вы будете пить?""вода".она ела, ела икру и лосось.она говорила весело искусства и литературы и музыки.но я хотела бы знать, что законопроект будет.когда моя баранина чоп прибыли она приняла меня довольно серьезно."я вижу, что ты в привычку есть большой обед.я уверен, что это ошибка.почему бы вам не последовать моему примеру и просто съесть одну вещь?я уверен, что ты чувствуешь, когда - либо намного лучше "."я только собирался съесть одно." я сказал, как официант опять пришел с законопроектом блюд.она помахала рукой его в сторону с просторный жест."нет, нет, я никогда не ел на обед.просто немного, я не хочу больше, чем это, и я съем, что больше в качестве предлога для разговора, чем что - либо другое.я не могу съесть что - нибудь еще, если они имеют некоторые из этих гигантских спаржа.я должно быть жаль уезжать из парижа, не имея некоторые из них ".мое сердце ".я видел их в магазины, и я знал, что они были ужасно дорого.мой рот часто поливать на их из виду."мадам хочет знать